God's Faithfulness
Over the last year or so I've been on this journey of figuring out where God wants me. A journey that has been full of faith and fear, trust and doubt, answers and silence, patience and worry, hope and confusion. But through all that time two things have been evidently true:
1. God has always stuck with me
2. God has always had a plan.
Now I could easily leave it at that and trust that you would take my word for it, that God was indeed faithful. But I feel part of my job as a follower of Christ is to display God's workings in my life not to just notice and acknowledge them for myself. So I am going to share with you some of the dialog I had with God and some the prayers God answered. I want you to see for yourselves how God has been faithful to me, because God is always faithful.
Faith in God's guidance: November 21, 2017
I'm not spending time figuring out what God wants me to do with my future because to me it doesn't really matter. As long as I am doing what He wants me to do now, then I'm good. He will put in place the things for my future. If I continue to seek him in the present I'll always be where He wants me to be.
The influence of others: November 27, 2017
God lead me
I am trusting you to lead me.
They say you won't guide me if I put it all on you,
But I don't believe them.
To believe them would mean to doubt you, and I can not to that.
I know what you want me to be doing now.
You clearly told me what you wanted me to be doing.
So why am I letting their doubts become mine and push me to a place of no longer trusting you?
I must ignore them.
Keep my eyes on you and you alone.
It doesn't matter how they think you work.
All that matters is how I know you work.
You work in wonderful and mysterious ways.
You are a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
You are my shepherd showing me the way.
Since I can't see into the future,
I wont spend time trying to figure out what God has in store for me later.
I'll trust He knows the plans He has for me.
I'll trust He will show them to me when I need to know them.
Trusting God: February 9, 2018
I have been so secure in trusting God with my future lately, but it just hit me that I have no idea what I am doing after I graduate. Nothing. No idea whatsoever. That thought honestly freaked me out. But then I remembered that I don't need to know, that's not my job. My job is to be obedient. It's God's job to know my future. Like I wrote in a poem a few years ago...
"I doesn't matter who I am,
or whether I know it or not,
if I know who my God is,
then I know quite a lot."
I won't let the doubt of others or the doubts of myself get in the way of me following God and letting him teach me patience, trust, and to let go.
Take it away: April 16, 2018
God please direct me. Tell me where you want to use me. Thank you for bringing me this far. I have seen your guidance my whole life and I can't wait to see what you have for my future. Keep using me. Keep leading me. Keep teaching me. Keep stretching me. Everywhere I go you go before me so I have no fear in anything. Take away me hesitation. Take away my doubts. Take away my desire to do your job for you.
Dreams: July 19, 2018
It's almost real now. Leaving. Doing what I've felt called to do for over a year. Serving God. Learning a new country and culture.
It's scary, yet it's not at the same time. It's scary to think that I'll be away from home. Yet it's not scary at all because I know God is coming along. If this where he is calling me then this is the only place I want to be.
It's crazy how God has finally answered my prayers. He even gave me exactly what I wanted. Yet I still had the thought "Oh what about the things I might be missing?"
But that's the thing, you always have to miss something. No matter where you go or what you do. That just means there are too many people and places you love and only one you. That's not a bad thing, it's a blessing. If you focus on where you are and the season you are in you can enjoy your life now and enjoy your other dreams if and when they come true.
Confused: December 18, 2018
I am confused as to why things aren't working out.
Sure things don't usually work out exactly in my way or my time
But this is something YOU told me to do
And now I'm doing it
You gave me peace up until now
But now I have so much anxiety
"Do not be anxious about anything instead pray about everything."
Philippians 4:6
God I know you are in control so I will not worry about the money I still need to go on my mission trip. You will provide what I need, to do what you want me to do.
God please help me to only think about it as much as I need to. Help me to focus on the here and now. Help me to enjoy my Christmas without worrying about my trip and my visa and the money and my future.
See God today: January 8, 2019
God today is the day. The day of new beginnings. The day I been preparing for for many, many months. The day I leave my home. The day I leave my comfort zone. The day I follow You to a new land. The day I fly again.
I can't wait to see You working. I can't wait to go where You want me. But yet I can, I can wait because I never really had to. I never have to wait to be where God is working. God is working everywhere, everyday. I simply only look for Him on certain days. God, I only see You now and then... because that's how often I look for You. Help me to look for You in everything I do.
Amen.
- Tori
1. God has always stuck with me
2. God has always had a plan.
Now I could easily leave it at that and trust that you would take my word for it, that God was indeed faithful. But I feel part of my job as a follower of Christ is to display God's workings in my life not to just notice and acknowledge them for myself. So I am going to share with you some of the dialog I had with God and some the prayers God answered. I want you to see for yourselves how God has been faithful to me, because God is always faithful.
Faith in God's guidance: November 21, 2017
I'm not spending time figuring out what God wants me to do with my future because to me it doesn't really matter. As long as I am doing what He wants me to do now, then I'm good. He will put in place the things for my future. If I continue to seek him in the present I'll always be where He wants me to be.
The influence of others: November 27, 2017
God lead me
I am trusting you to lead me.
They say you won't guide me if I put it all on you,
But I don't believe them.
To believe them would mean to doubt you, and I can not to that.
I know what you want me to be doing now.
You clearly told me what you wanted me to be doing.
So why am I letting their doubts become mine and push me to a place of no longer trusting you?
I must ignore them.
Keep my eyes on you and you alone.
It doesn't matter how they think you work.
All that matters is how I know you work.
You work in wonderful and mysterious ways.
You are a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
You are my shepherd showing me the way.
Since I can't see into the future,
I wont spend time trying to figure out what God has in store for me later.
I'll trust He knows the plans He has for me.
I'll trust He will show them to me when I need to know them.
Trusting God: February 9, 2018
I have been so secure in trusting God with my future lately, but it just hit me that I have no idea what I am doing after I graduate. Nothing. No idea whatsoever. That thought honestly freaked me out. But then I remembered that I don't need to know, that's not my job. My job is to be obedient. It's God's job to know my future. Like I wrote in a poem a few years ago...
"I doesn't matter who I am,
or whether I know it or not,
if I know who my God is,
then I know quite a lot."
I won't let the doubt of others or the doubts of myself get in the way of me following God and letting him teach me patience, trust, and to let go.
Take it away: April 16, 2018
God please direct me. Tell me where you want to use me. Thank you for bringing me this far. I have seen your guidance my whole life and I can't wait to see what you have for my future. Keep using me. Keep leading me. Keep teaching me. Keep stretching me. Everywhere I go you go before me so I have no fear in anything. Take away me hesitation. Take away my doubts. Take away my desire to do your job for you.
Dreams: July 19, 2018
It's almost real now. Leaving. Doing what I've felt called to do for over a year. Serving God. Learning a new country and culture.
It's scary, yet it's not at the same time. It's scary to think that I'll be away from home. Yet it's not scary at all because I know God is coming along. If this where he is calling me then this is the only place I want to be.
It's crazy how God has finally answered my prayers. He even gave me exactly what I wanted. Yet I still had the thought "Oh what about the things I might be missing?"
But that's the thing, you always have to miss something. No matter where you go or what you do. That just means there are too many people and places you love and only one you. That's not a bad thing, it's a blessing. If you focus on where you are and the season you are in you can enjoy your life now and enjoy your other dreams if and when they come true.
Confused: December 18, 2018
I am confused as to why things aren't working out.
Sure things don't usually work out exactly in my way or my time
But this is something YOU told me to do
And now I'm doing it
You gave me peace up until now
But now I have so much anxiety
"Do not be anxious about anything instead pray about everything."
Philippians 4:6
God I know you are in control so I will not worry about the money I still need to go on my mission trip. You will provide what I need, to do what you want me to do.
God please help me to only think about it as much as I need to. Help me to focus on the here and now. Help me to enjoy my Christmas without worrying about my trip and my visa and the money and my future.
See God today: January 8, 2019
God today is the day. The day of new beginnings. The day I been preparing for for many, many months. The day I leave my home. The day I leave my comfort zone. The day I follow You to a new land. The day I fly again.
I can't wait to see You working. I can't wait to go where You want me. But yet I can, I can wait because I never really had to. I never have to wait to be where God is working. God is working everywhere, everyday. I simply only look for Him on certain days. God, I only see You now and then... because that's how often I look for You. Help me to look for You in everything I do.
Amen.
- Tori
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